What's the dumbest thing you've ever seen someone do in traffic?

"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg) 10/12/2015 at 20:44 • Filed to: None

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A little while back, I was on the interstate, right at the point where the right two lanes split off and head north while the left three lanes continue west. I was in the leftmost of the two right lanes, passing a United moving truck that for some reason had decided the 40mph was the appropriate speed to do on I-80. It quickly became quite apparent why he was going so slow. Now I know what you’re thinking. Truck drivers have log books, and fuel expenses, and a schedule to keep, and they can’t make a U-turn just anywhere. This truck driver probably panicked when he realized he was getting on to the wrong interstate. However, in my mind, none of this excuses swerving (it really was more of a swerve than a merge) across three lanes of interstate traffic and a gore point at 2/3 the speed of everyone else. Fortunately, he at least had the courtesy to give two blinks of the signal before he made this frenzied dash. I was just passing the back wheels of the cab, and decided that flooring it clear was a better option than slamming on the brakes. Those behind me didn’t get that luxury, and had to toss out the anchors to avoid broadsiding this guy. Like I said, log books and fuel or not, this is never an acceptable maneuver. This move would’ve been bad enough from a clueless soccer mom in a Traverse or something. But a professional driver in a 60 foot container with presumably the entire contents of some poor bastard’s house in the back? I was at an unusual loss for any words that weren’t a string of expletives. It’s not the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen from a driver, but it’s darn close. How about you guys? What are your most harrowing moments at the hands of your fellow road users, or at the very least, what made you do the biggest facepalm?

A close second to that maneuver would be the one that !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in a brown Ford performed when he missed his exit, which I actually happened to catch on camera.

jkm7680 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 20:53

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Not the dumbest,

But today while on a 35 mph parkway, some dumbass in an Altima pulled her car into a four lane road and then when I laid on the horn, she panicked and stopped her car right in the fucking middle.

Exactly like this picture, except the road was four lanes.

Also, these cars have really good sounding horns.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 20:56

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It actually happened earlier today. I was in a center turn lane about to turn left into a plaza. I start going and all the sudden there’s a new Fusion cutting in front of me and starting to turn into the plaza at the same time, from the leftmost lane but not the turn lane. Keep in mind I was going semi-quick because there was finally a just large enough gap in oncoming traffic for me. So now I have to stop partially in oncoming traffic so I don’t hit the guy, then he stop totally blocking both oncoming lanes. So I say fuck it and risk tearing the shit out of my front bumper on the steep driveway so I’m not part of a multi-car accident. THEN HE STARTS GOING AGAIN TO BLOCK ME AND CUT ME OFF GOING IN AGAIN. I have never seen such a clueless idiot in my entire time I’ve been driving and it took every nerve not to go to the guys window and just start screaming at him.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 20:56

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We passed a bunch of cardboard in the street. ??? What are those? Drove another mile, another corner, more boxes. ??

Get to the interstate exit, we see a very large moving truck with all the doors unlocked. Stuff falling everywhere. We were on one ramp, they were on another. Nothing we could do about it.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:01

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1. The guy on the motorcycle that passed me on the right through a construction zone, only to stop before he was even a car length ahead to, get this, turn right.

2. Some highschool kids doing a human pyramid out the side of a Grand Am, while moving.

Boxer_4 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:02

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This was actually just Friday...

If you have problem with your vehicle on the Turnpike, it’s probably not the best idea to slam on your brakes and pull onto a partial shoulder with your vehicle still half-way into the travel lane, even if you have your hazards on. If the driver hadn’t slammed on the brakes, they would have made it to a full shoulder easily (less then 6 feet).

I’m just glad the person passing me on the left at the time moved over enough for me to squeeze past. There was no stopping in time at 70 mph (the speed limit)

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jkm7680 10/12/2015 at 21:04

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Indeed.

CB > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:06

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When I was driving on Saturday, two things stick out:

1) I was driving in the right lane when Buddy in an Elantra begins passing me in the centre lane, going roughly a kilometre an hour faster than me. When his rear quarter panel is right by my front wheel, he decides that now is the perfect time to merge into my lane. I hit my brakes and dropped my speed by twenty kilometres an hour and lay down on the horn. Fortunately, no collision.

2) I was driving in the right lane when I was coming up on a tractor trailer, and not wanting to slow down, I switched into the centre lane. Bimmer Buddy is driving in the centre lane at the same speed as the tractor trailer, so I switch into the left lane. As I pass Bimmer Buddy, he floors it, and then resumes his speed roughly a car length ahead of me. What did he accomplish? I don’t know.

A lot longer ago, I saw a dude start driving when there was an advanced green, but not for him. So he slammed into the back of the car in front of him. Smooth moves.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:17

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I had a 7 series do almost the same thing last night on the way home from visiting my parents out of state.


I approached a 7 series in the overtaking lane while we were both passing a slow moving semi-trailer. Trailer was moving at 100kph, 7 series was moving at about 101kph, speed limit 110kph.

After about 5 minutes passing a semi who’s trailer is legitimately above the roof line of my MR2, there’s enough room for the 7 series to move back into the left land (Australia) ... nope. Okay. We’ll just both sit in the right (overtaking) lane then at 10 below the limit. another 3 minutes pass. There’s now several truck lengths between us and the trailer, but the BMW doesn’t move over.

I have to turn left in 1km so I move into the left lane, not enough distance between where we are and the turning lane for me to blat past on the left legally so I maintain 3 car lengths behind the 7 series and match speed just in case he wants to take the turning lane to the same destination.

Turning lane approaches, 7 series has made no indication to move left, I indicate and move into the slip lane to turn left, theres now about 200 metres for the 7 series to indicate, move into the left lane, and then move into the slip lane.

still nothing.
still nothing. painted island approaching.

painted island approached. 7 series uses this opportunity to slam on the brakes and sharp left into the turning lane, across the painted island and his left rear quarter comes within a pube hair of hitting my front quarter.

This is why we defensively drive, so I didn’t need to panic brake, I just downshifted and waited the next 20 seconds until the road opened up so I could overtake safely. I didn’t beep my horn, I didn’t flash my lights cause I was tired and didn’t want to escalate a potential road rager.

I passed legally, at the limit, of a speed 10-15km/h faster than the 7 series. I may have let my BOV sneeze at them intentionally, but that’s about it.

the 7 series then high-beamed me for the next 30 seconds because obviously it was my fault they hogged the overtaking lane until the last possible moment.

I checked my dashcam when I got home and had a ‘memory error’, otherwise I would have put it up here by now. It annoys me when this happens, cause about 5 minutes up the road there’s an opportunity to turn around safely if you’ve missed the turn, and another half hour later you can take the next left and only lose about 30 mins off the entire journey.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:26

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Guy at my school ran down the short grass hill that connects the parking lot to the road at about 30 mph. Didnt look for traffic or anything.

touring the brook - now with ZHP! > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:33

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I haven’t seen many really stupid things, but there are many plain stupid things I have seen. So there’s a mountain road leading up a prominent ridge on my morning commute to high school:

Now that corner in the bottom of my screenshot is a banked turn going downhill with a sheer rock face on one side, and a drop of about 180 feet on the other. Every single time I go up this road there’s always some dingus in a Tahoe/Suburban/GL/Land Cruiser/Yukon/Traverse/Acadia (you get the point) going too fast into the corner. Because they are going too fast, they understeer into the opposite lane, causing terror to whoever is driving in the opposite lane.

Urambo Tauro > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:44

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When did Kyle Larson start driving a United truck?

My citroen won't start > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:53

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Probably the time I went over the street median at 4 am because the address I wanted to get to was on the other side and I needed to use the bathroom.

BigBlock440 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 21:54

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Guy in dark clothing on a bicycle at 10pm on a 55mph limited access, divided highway. No flashing lights or reflectors or anything, not even on the shoulder, just pedaling along in the right lane. If I wasn’t paying as much attention as I usually do, I would have flattened him myself. He(assuming) is just lucky it was me coming up on him and not my wife (or equavalent) or they’d have been scraping him off the road. Why would anyone think it’s ok to ride their bicycle on the freaking interstate?!

Übel > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:13

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I once watched a man lane-split with a Buick LeSabre in 75mph traffic.

Frank Grimes > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:13

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A busted up s10 with tons of stuff in the bed also a dog. The truck was in the furthest left lane going 60mph up a hill in a 75mph zone. This hill is steep and slows lots of diesels in the right lane. I of course was behind this s10 and I flashed headlights after about a mile the truck then braked checked me all the way down to 15mph. Of course I could do nothing I didn’t dare try to change lanes as cars and trucks passed me going 75mph as cars pilled up behind us.

Can you imagine the absolute stupidity of such a person. It was infuriating.

hike > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:17

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I’ll keep it short but I once saw a kia pass a school bus doing 70 mph. Crazy dumb part is the guy literally put the front end of his car under the rear of the school bus to fit into the space to get over to the left. Guy was a nut. Glad the school bus was empty cause that’s just down right reckless.

shop-teacher > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:28

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I saw someone coming southbound in the leftmost northbound lane of I-294 (outside of Chicago). It was after 3 am, and I was in the far right northbound lane. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I called the state patrol, hopefully they got the drunken idiot.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > My citroen won't start 10/12/2015 at 22:31

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Sometimes a Range Rover is a helpful thing to have.

I just realized I’ve never actually seen a picture of your Rover.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > BigBlock440 10/12/2015 at 22:32

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Drugs?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Frank Grimes 10/12/2015 at 22:33

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Endagering a dog=asshole bonus points.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > shop-teacher 10/12/2015 at 22:34

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Ein Geisterfahrer!

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 10/12/2015 at 22:34

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Funktheduck > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:39

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I saw this today.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:39

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Lately it seems like people have decided that if they’re making a left turn at a yield on green that that means they have the right of way against people making a right on green. I’ve come close to being hit by so many people who just go and completely ignore that there’s a car already in the intersection.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:40

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Was driving through Portland at rush hour and am in the right lane (I was a passenger), going probably 40 mph, two assholes on a motorcycle drive by on the shoulder seriously going 110+ mph ON THE SHOULDER. A cop pulls out from behind us about 3 cars back and starts to try to catch up with them, he couldn’t, as we kept driving further through Portland, (we were going south to Salem OR) we notice d at all the overpasses were cops probably watching for these people.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:42

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Me doing about 80 mph in the left lane, motorcycle bro zooms up on my right and tries to squeeze between the car that I am catching and passing and then pulls immediately in front of me going SLOWER THAN ME. Slammed on brakes, honked horn and provided two fisted finger, since I almost killed your stupid ass.

BigBlock440 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:42

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Possible, they’re prevalent in the area I was driving through.

My citroen won't start > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:50

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Huh, I think I never really posted any pictures of the Rangie to OPPO, I have some from the day I bought it and a few pictures of it from speed tickets, I just need to find them on the old computer.

It isn’t in presentable condition right now.

Swayze Train GTi > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:52

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I have approximately a million from when I delivered pizza, but the ones that stick out the most were
A. I’m going east, truck in the westbound left turn lane. Truck takes the turn quickly, chirping the tires, but leaving enough room. The jeep directly behind him, however, decides that if the gap is good enough for the truck ahead (which he couldn’t see around cause it was massive and lifted) it was good enough for him, and he follows the truck instantly without looking, causing me to crash into him, totaling my first car, an NA Miata.

B. Again, going east. Westbound traffic is blocked up in the middle lane, but the outside lane is clear. Ford Expedition towing a 15 foot trailer pulls out of a driveway GOING THE WRONG WAY past the line of stopped opposing traffic (so he can’t see at all what he’s about to merge into), then turns into my lane without so much as a blind spot check. It was one month after I’d replaced my Miata in the aforementioned wreck with a Corvette. I probably would have beaten the driver wtih a tire iron if he’d hit me.

Saabslut > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:57

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Traveling in passing lane of three lane highway at 70 mph. In front of me a woman in SUV exits left from same lane, slows down to about 30 mph to go down ramp, decides at last minute she doesn’t want to go down the ramp, drives back up side of ramp and pops back into left hand passing lane at 30 mph. To make it worse when drivers honked at her she stopped completely. In left hand passing lane. Of major highway filled with flying commuter traffic. Like me. Causing me to jump on my brakes and almost stand my car up on its nose and miss her by the narrowest of margins.

Frank Grimes > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:57

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Thats part of it. Why brake check someone if you have your dog in the back? I figure the people are scum.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 22:59

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At this time I was a serious road biker (race shape) and I was going down mount Diablo. This was a cold afternoon, one cold enough that had black ice on the road. I was descending when I reached a RAV4. It was not going fast. It was riding the brakes all the way down. I stay on its ass and just go with it. The RAV4 then starts trying to lose me. It starts diving across the center line (uhh super scary and accelerating in the wrong parts of the turn, saved by traction control). They ended up letting me pass and I felt like a dick so i stayed in the center of the lane, did my own thing at apexing the corners and time trialing on the straights. I might have went a bit slower than normal (it was sketchy) and then just stayed in the front of them. Eventually they pulled off and the nice Indian high school girl flipped me off. Both hands rose from the bars and raised two middle fingers.

Amoore100 > My citroen won't start 10/12/2015 at 23:05

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Should have been in the Citroen, set the air suspension on high, and coasted over that median like a boss ;D

Noah - Now with more boost. > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 23:11

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I once saw a teenager floor it from a stop and take a left right into a Chevy Suburban in the lane next to me. I slammed on the brakes and fortunately didn’t get rear ended. Her little Nissan rammed the truck through my lane and into a telephone pole, totaling both cars. The kicker: The driver of the ‘burban was a cop from my town, and his young daughter was in the back. Needless to say, he was PISSED. He yelled at the teenager and called his on-duty buddies. His daughter was stoic about the whole thing, just a little shaken up. The teenager? Balling her eyes out uncontrollably. What a mess. I was the only one who pulled over to help, as usual. A private investigator showed up at my house a few months later and I was happy to make a contribution to the case. People who drive like life is a game and cars are toys deserve all the punishment the law has to offer. PS: good luck with your replacement cats!

CallMeTURBO > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 10/12/2015 at 23:43

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God it just irks me when people blow past me only to slam on their brakes and turn.

Like you really needed to assert your dominance and shave that single second off your turn so much that you are willing to do that.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/12/2015 at 23:54

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Happened literally two miles form my home at the local car wash. Super soccer mom stereotype in her white equinox was diagonal across the entire entry driveway to the car wash looking to turn left on a five lane. I say to myself “That’s stupid, glad I know there’s another entrance” and drive the 200 ft to the connecting driveway of the dentist office next door. There a man in beige early 2000’s impala doing the same diagonal bullshit at that drive way. There’s just enough room for my CUV so I go for it. He sees me, puts it in reverse, AND TRIES TO BLOCK ME!!! I lay on my horn so that he stops and he gets all flustered and angry and I just drive on to the car wash.

I know he was trying to get out of my way but blocking the driveway further isn’t helping. People in Grove City, Ohio can not drive to save their souls

TheVancen- In Pursuit of a Greater Payday and Car Parts > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/13/2015 at 01:39

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I don’t have a good story personally, but I can pass one along. A family friend used to work for an equipment rental business that also did propane refills on the really big cylinders. He was driving an F350 with a big steel lift gate loaded with 7 100lb propane tanks he’s crossing an intersection in down town and a lady in a red Kia runs a red light and T bones the truck right on the left rear wheel, and since it was a short box it got some of the cab too. The crazy thing is tjis lady thinks its a good idea to bail. The bottles didn’t explode or catch fire, and Mudflap got away with nothing but a minor concussion. It turns out this was actually the third hit and run this lady caused and they ended up finding her because the front bumper of her Kia next to the truck with its license plate still attached

pip bip - choose Corrour > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/13/2015 at 02:57

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go past a cop at high speed.

oh wait.........that was me.

wiffleballtony > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 10/13/2015 at 11:42

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There’s a freeway interchange that’s on my way to work. It’s very clearly marked, yet at the last second usually 4 people make a mad dash to get out of and into the exit lanes, at the last moment. I have seen many accidents happen there. What’s weird is all of the freeways pretty much are all marked the same and this is the only one with a problem.